Introduction -- "Did you hear what I said?" : why listening is so important -- "Thanks for listening" : how listening shapes us and connects us to each other -- "Why don't people listen?" : how communication breaks down -- "When is it my turn?" -- the heart of listening : the struggle to suspend our own needs -- "You hear only what you want to hear" : how hidden assumptions prejudice listening -- "Why do you always overreact?!" : how emotionality makes us defensive -- "Take your time--I'm listening" : how to let go of your own needs and listen -- "I never knew you felt that way" : empathy begins with openness -- "I can see this is really upsetting you" : how to defuse emotional reactivity -- "We never talk anymore" : listening between intimate partners -- "Nobody around here ever listens to me!" : how to listen and be heard within the family -- From "Do I have to?" to "that's not fair!" : listening to children and teenagers -- "I knew you'd understand" : being able to hear friends and colleagues.